There’s lesbian subtext on this Girl Scout cookie box

Lesbian Girl Scout cookie box of Tagalongs: from a collection of Rusty Blazenhoff

It’s Girl Scout cookie deteriorate again that done me consider of this box I’ve been unresolved onto given a year 2000 or so. Just an trusting box of Tagalongs, right? Well, not so fast. Look a small closer and we consider you’ll determine something else is going on: lesbian subtext!

Years ago, LGBT romantic and sex recommendation columnist Dan Savage wrote about a controversial box in Savage Love:

Hey, Everybody: If we haven’t bought a box of Girl Scout cookies this year, we advise we collect adult a few boxes of Tagalongs Peanut Butter Patties presently — these boxes are certain to be collectors’ equipment one day. Pictured on a front of a box are dual Girl Scouts adult to their chins in water, nose to nose, looking low into any other’s eyes. “Go for it!” is created above their heads. we [heart] pointed and rebellious homoeroticism, and notwithstanding a braces one of a girls has in her mouth — certain to get in a approach of any late-night “going for it” behind during a cabin — this print qualifies as teenage lesbian erotica in my book.

If unsubtle homoeroticism is some-more to your liking, we need usually flip over a box, where a content reads: “I usually adore H2O sports! Our teachers are finish pros! Jamilia and we indeed synchronized a strokes …” [My italics.] Okay, let’s stop and inspect a initial 3 lines: The Girl Scouts graphic on a box are usually shown swimming — no one is shown on water-skis, personification H2O polo or snorkeling. Swimming isn’t H2O sports, plural, it is a H2O sport, singular. So because doesn’t a duplicate read, “I usually adore swimming!” Why “water sports”? “Pro” is jargon for prostitute, and “strokes,” good “strokes” has a vaguely passionate vibe.

Now a coming of H2O sports, pros and strokes on a behind of a Girl Scout cookie box could be a totally trusting coincidence, but, ladies and lady of a jury, we contention to we line 4 from a duplicate on a behind of a Tagalongs Peanut Butter Patties box: “We did a whole length of a pool on a backs.” On Our Backs, as any dyke value her strap-on can tell you, is a grandmammy of lesbian porno magazines — this month’s emanate facilities lesbian nuns. Not interviews with members of a lesbian nun community, not an essay about lesbianism in Gothic convents — though big, glossy, black-and-white photos of dual humpy immature women in habits munching any other’s cookies. (I’m guessing these girls aren’t unequivocally nuns — unless genital piercings were recently authorized by Rome.)

“Go for it!” “Water sports.” “Pros.” “Strokes.” “On a backs.” Someone, some deep-cover user of a International Homosexual Conspiracy (IHC), has clearly infiltrated whatever group designs Girl Scout cookie boxes. Like a IHC plant who designed Mattel’s Earring Magic Ken — Ken came finish with a cockring on a sequence around his neck — a Girl Scout user succeeded in slipping a totally odd product past his or her totally clueless hetero supervisors, jolt a heterosexual persecution and distinguished a blow for lesbian visibility. When Mattel satisfied they’d been had, Cockring Magic Ken was fast pulled off a shelves, and Mattel’s press orator denied they were in a business of “putting cockrings into a hands of small girls.” The Girl Scouts, once they comprehend what’s indeed going on in that pool graphic on a behind of a peanut butter cookie box, will substantially do a same. Get a box of Tagalongs while we still can.

Let’s get a small closer…

In an old Straight Dope forum, someone commented that a box was dropped in 2001.

photos by Rusty Blazenhoff

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