But while Chipotle’s pierce sucks for Denver, that has prided itself on being a collateral of a fast-casual business that got a large boost from Chipotle, it will siphon some-more for you, Chipotle. You’re gambling your destiny on a unsure pierce that squanders a hometown goodwill you’ve built adult over a years in preference of a finish detachment with that Californians will courtesy you, usually another association in a sea of bureau parks dotting a internal hills. It’s going to change you, Chipotle. It’s going to change everything. And not in usually these 8 ways…but we have to start a recovering routine somewhere.
8. Guac? Finally Free
Avocado is executive to a California experience. Want to make a burger California-style? Add avocado. An omelet? Avocado. Pizza? Well, duck (white beef only, please). But also avocado. You get a idea. When it comes to Chipotle, avocado means guac, and guac in spin means an additional integrate bucks combined to your bean and barbacoa…and that’s usually not going to fly in Cali. As a California company, Chipotle will need to giveaway a guac.
7. Fast-Casual Will Become Super-Casual
The fast-casual food transformation is about to get a lot some-more casual. We’re talking, like, Jeff Spicoli-level casual. Unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, roller shorts, barefoot, malleable hair — we know, trust-fund babies. No shirt, no shoes…no problem!
6. Breaking Up With Denver Will Prove Hard to Do
New CEO Niccol says that Chipotle will “always be unapproachable of a Denver roots,” that loosely translates to “It’s not you, babe, it’s me. we usually need to find myself. Please don’t hatred me. we don’t cruise we could live with myself if we hated me. And, hey: We’ll always have Paris…and by Paris, we meant a strange store on Evans.” And where do people who explain a desperate, remarkable need to “find themselves” tend to finish up? That’s right: California.
5. Goodbye, Ski Bums — Hello, Surfer Dudes and Dudettes
When it was local, Chipotle was a ideal pursuit for a derelict ski bum: plain work, decent compensate and (bonus!) bonus carbo-loading with a plain protein source in a pocket-sized dish — okay, it’s a large slot — to eat on a go. Burritos are arguably one of a best dishes for a prolonged day on a slopes. Translating that to surfers competence poise something of a challenge; a gig itself competence still compensate a bills, though holding a burrito out on a waves is problematic. Storage is one thing — North Face coupler pockets are improved for burrito stowage than is a wetsuit —but seriously, no one wants a waterlogged tortilla.
4. Designer Burritos
With a new Kobe Beef Dazzle-rito (wrapped in rhinestone-studded velvet with an festooned picture of a pointless Kardashian — collect them all!), a singular burrito can finally moment that fugitive $100 mark.
3. Even More Breaking Up
Chipotle won’t unequivocally be means to get over Denver. We’ll get a Christmas label with no lapse address, a integrate of lament calls, and afterwards a array of inebriated texts on New Year’s Eve: “Hey.” “Hey.” “Are we up?” “Just meditative about you.” “Like, a lot.” “I substantially shouldn’t be observant this, though we skip you. Remember when we came out with a queso final year? That was awesome. We were so high. You ever cruise about entrance out to California?” And afterwards zero for 6 days, and finally: “Sorry.”
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2. Greater Focus on Salads
Colorado is a flattering fit state, though California is aggressively fit. Like, judgmentally, absolutely, mandatorially fit. Will anyone decider we for eating a whole Chipotle burrito here in a Mile High? Not a bit, other than to advise that sofritos aren’t a thing that should exist, let alone exist as any arrange of judicious choice to beef or carnitas. Will they decider we in California? Of course. Scorn is a silver of a area in California, where a indicate isn’t usually to attain — it’s to be visibly improved than that chairman stranded in trade subsequent to you.
1. They’ll Dream of Relocating to Colorado
Because that’s what Californians do.