A PINCH OF SALT: Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Diet

What would we do if your alloy told we that we had to stay divided from carbohydrates?

What would we do if your alloy motionless to tell we that a week before Christmas?

I motionless to omit her too.

Come on. we know all about carbs and how they spin into sugarine about as quick as they strike a digestive system. we know how they emanate fat, clearly out of nothing. we know what they do to my blood sugar.

But a week before Christmas? Really?

Christmas could simply be nicknamed Carbmas, during slightest around a table. They are there wherever we look.

Even if we could omit those Christmas cookies, it takes “healthy” crackers and cheese as a surrogate for snacking. No snacking? we did contend it was Christmas, didn’t I?

Since I’m such a renouned guy, we get invited to a Christmas celebration or two. It’s arrange of a cloud of carbs during those things. Snacks upheld on trays are many simply served on bread or crackers, or are wrapped in phyllo dough. we hunt out a bacon-wrapped stuff, usually to find out a stuffing is filled with carbs.

Then there are a meals. It unequivocally doesn’t matter what your categorical march welfare competence be — turkey, ham, primary rib, even tofu turkey — a Christmas meal’s unequivocally all about a side dishes, right? Now name one that’s not complicated on carbs.

The crushed potatoes and stuffing are a given — carbohydrates are on a tip of their part list. Don’t get me started about a honeyed potatoes (I theory worldly people call them yams). Green bean stew sounds a small some-more healthy, right? Check out that cream of fungus soup, or a boiled onions that started a whole thing.

Gravy? Do we know what they use to thicken gravy?

Ditto for a dessert — always cake or cake. Can we contend carb crusts? Even flourless cake can get you.

“It’s okay. Just don’t overdue it,” my poetic mother advises.

But isn’t that a indicate to start with?

This year, once we got home alone, we even attempted a surrogate or two. we ate a cheese but a crackers; we indeed baked crushed cauliflower instead of potatoes. It was arrange of like tofu instead of primary rib. They were runny, and we acknowledge to unctuous a chip or dual to prove a craving.

The whole indicate of this no-carbs thing is to get my blood sugarine down. Well, this isn’t accurately a good time to try that, carbs or no carbs.

I’m weak. we acknowledge it. But we can’t travel divided from a play full of peanut brittle, and I’m a fool for Christmas-wrapped candy. Chocolate-covered cherries are a tradition in a residence — how am we ostensible to omit that? we get called Scrooge adequate as it is.

There is a light during a finish of a tunnel. The alloy pronounced she’d give me until Jan. 12. That’s roughly dual full weeks after New Year’s Day.

And we all know what New Year’s Day is about. we can truthfully contend we haven’t met a fortitude we couldn’t guarantee to keep. So I’ll solve to get behind on lane with a no carbs thing, and a no candy thing, and a no binging thing.

But how am we ostensible to try that seven-bean dip? And what’s a ham sandwich but a bread?

Get behind me, Satan. Pass those cucumber chips, please.

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